This is a fictional story, if you can’t tell. Since it’s below a thousand words, technically it can be considered flash fiction.
Featuring cameos from:
Cheese the cat
Who are actually real and pretty much because I asked who wanted to cameo in this weird fic.
Let Them Eat Cake
by Seriously Sarah
An orange cat was sleeping on one of the tables. Cheese. That was the catâ€™s name, according to the numerous polaroids pinned on the noticeboard. It was probably a health hazard.
Joan wrote it down in her notebook.
She sat in the empty cafÃ©. It was small and cozy with mismatched furniture and unpainted brick walls. There was a tricycle hanging from the ceiling and an entirely too expensive SMEG fridge near the entrance. Inside the fridge, mason jars filled with ice water with the tiniest slice of lemon.
â€œWaterâ€¦ self-service,â€ muttered Joan to herself as she read the paper sign stuck on it.
She noted it down in her notebook, stood up from her short wooden stool and headed towards the counter.
â€œGreetings, do you have rainbow cake?â€ asked Joan.
The staff, a young teenage boy, looked worriedly at Joan. She looked over at his badge, pinned on his black t-shirt. â€œYi Shu, is that how you say your name? I would like a slice of rainbow cake,â€ demanded Joan.
â€œYes. Y-es mâ€™am. Miss! I mean, thatâ€™s how you pronounce it but er, we donâ€™t have rainbow cake. May I suggest the pandan chiffon cake?â€ he said hopefully.
She frowned at him and slid her notebook into her handcrafted purse.
â€œIâ€™m sorry, that wonâ€™t do,â€ she said gravely.
â€œWait, let me call my manager, heâ€™s at the back! Hold on, please!â€
The boy ran towards the back quickly. Considering there was not much of a â€˜backâ€™ than a small kitchen and brought another man out. He was bespectacled with rather floppy hair and of a slight stature. Joan looked at him approvingly.
â€œHello, Iâ€™m Charles, the owner. May I help youâ€¦ Oh. Oh no,â€ he said, taking off his glasses.
â€œHello Charles, I see you must know why I am here,â€ she said.
â€œYi Shu, go into the kitchen,â€ ordered Charles.
The boy obediently escaped into the room, leaving the two of them in the main room of the cafÃ©.
â€œIâ€™ve heard of your kind,â€ he stated.
Joan smirked and placed a namecard on the countertop.
â€œGood, then you know Iâ€™m one of them. Your cafÃ© failed the test. Your cat gave you a few points. Your dÃ©cor is passable but your menu is rubbish,â€ she flippantly said.
She turned around, took a step away from him and paused.
â€œYou can either close within a month or follow my instructions,â€ she said.
Charles narrowed his eyes at her. He looked down at the namecard.
â€œWhat do I have to do?â€ he asked.
She looked over her shoulder and smirked.
â€œYou know what to do. Change your menu. Master the eggs benedict and bread toasting, stock up on coffee beans, not that rubbish you have right now. And most importantlyâ€¦ Stock up on rainbow cakes,â€ she said seriously.
He held the namecard up.
â€œOne day someone will stand up to you. Ministry of hipsters. More like hipster gangstersâ€¦ â€ he commented.
Joan stood by the sleeping cat and petted it.
â€œWe have our requirements, like any other organization. You have a hipster cafÃ©. Follow our guideless or prepare to close,â€ she said lightly and strode out of the cafÃ©.
Yi Shu crept back into the main room once he heard her leave.
â€œWhat will we do, boss?â€ he asked.
â€œWe need to get more obscure,â€ said Charles.