I really like Jupiter Ascending and while there are so many websites and tumblr posts about the movie. Here is my non-spoiler reasons to watch it:
1) It is diverse. Like, ACTUAL diverse.
2) Space!Dorian is in there. You know, from Dragon Age: Inquisition.
3) Space!Dinosaur-men
4) Teeny fangs wolfy Channing Tatum
5) The lead heroine aka Jupiter is like us. Like, really.
6) Such romance. Such lines. I know some people will be screaming my name, wondering if I influenced the directors in the romantic lines (I didn’t).
7) It has a lovely story of really, the message is: What you do is not who you are.
You can be a sweeper or some minion but that’s not who you are. You are much more than that. And vice versa.
You can be a rich noble but who you really are might be a douchcanoe.
8) ACTUAL STORY ABOUT FAMILY.
THANKS. THANKS FOR NUMBER 8 BY THE WAY. It really is. You know why?
It reminds me of times when we had Princess Bride, Legend (with the pantsless Tom Cruise) and Labyrinth.
IT HAD ENOUGH DRESS CHANGES AND PRETTY WARDROBE like it too. But yesss. All it needed was a ballroom dance scene. Was there a ballroom dance scene? I can’t remember because I was already stunned at the whole thing. PLEASE HAVE A BALLROOM DANCE SCENE IN EXTENDED VERSION.
There has to be one.
It’s like Sucker Punch with less suck.
While Sucker Punch made me go YES YES YES AND THEN no…no… nooo. After the fish dance peak in Sucker Punch, this just made me go “YOU DID NOT GO THERE. YES YOU DID GO THERE. OK. FINE. LET ME… SUPPORT YOU, JUPITER CAUSE you’re like a friend”.
Now.
For a spoilerific reaction WHY I liked Jupiter Ascending.
If you clicked this link straight without the read more, don’t read past my picture of my wrist with the word SPOILERS on it if you don’t want to be spoilered.
Or read my random ravings of the movie.